redefined dance for me tonight.
I realized that this whole time at Middlebury I was creating work that I thought the others regard as "dance." I was playing safe. The fear of being disproved of my ability hindered the application of my experiences in theater into my choreography, hindered my imagination and willingness to go crazy. This has actually been a constant problem: that I found what I did with theater before is somehow separated from what I do now with dance. I couldn't find ways to connect them somehow. They have been two different kind of experiences for me ever since I started dancing in Middlebury my freshman year, and even until the presentation of my senior thesis. Inbal Pinto's pieces tonight inspired me to somehow connect them: the physicality and dance technique I have been developing in the past four years, and the unique theatricality that I embody. I don't know exactly how, but I feel like I have a better idea how to mix them, and definitely a re-ignited passion to keep working towards that direction. I can do whatever I want, fuck it.
I wanna make work now; I wanna do it, experiment with it, and go with it.
I need confidence: trust what I'm doing regardless of all the criticisms, to allow space for my imagination, to allow entrance of all that I have experienced in my history, to allow who I am as a person to live and dance without secrets.
"If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, but make allowance for their doubting too."-- Rudyard Kipling